After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize