I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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