I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
