dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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