Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
