i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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