dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
