I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
