we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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