I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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