what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
