Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
