some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
