All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
