And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
