Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
