He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
