I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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