she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
