sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
