Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
