Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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