this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
