she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
