Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
