I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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