i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize