Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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