Im at strip club and am horny
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His hands were made for my vagina.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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