I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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