And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
