Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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