it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
