is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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