Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
