If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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