omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
