I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
wow bdsm is so cute
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