seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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