if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize