TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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