now i know why i became what i already was.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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