my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
