: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
