Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
