I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
