You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it's like iHOP with fire
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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