Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its about making memories worth repressing
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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