i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize