I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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