ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
