OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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