I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
did you just send me my own nude
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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