Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
