We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
