just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
