so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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