i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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