??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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